i stare at you in the mirror

the thing i know best

most personally

most intimately

most romantically

 

mossy emerald eyes

complimented by strangers often & repeatedly

“ are you wearing contacts? ”

 

the eyebrows above them

filled in with precision daily

now a part of my identity

 

a small cluster of freckles below

more on the right cheek than the left

darkened by the summer sun

 

that round button nose

my grandma insists i stole from my grandpa

now adorned with metal piercings despite her wishes

 

a pair of round cheeks

i grew to loathe as i aged

wishing for angles & sharpness instead

 

lips

with a deep “ v ”at the top, ideal for dramatic theatre make-up

a history of meeting other pairs

 

a tiny scar right below my chin

no one ever notices

the result of being dropped as a baby by a friend of my parents’

 

collar bones i adore

that i cut my hair to show off

filled my closet with off-the-shoulder shirts for

 

those rounded shoulders that women in my family share

sloped so prominently

that straps fall off consistently

 

a beauty mark

on my upper right shoulder blade

that i’ve always liked for no particular reason

 

arms that became an insecurity at a moment i can’t recall

i only remember wanting them covered

which tattoos have began to do

 

ample breasts guarding my heart

sometimes pouring out of clothes like these words out of me

parts i’m grateful i was never taught to be ashamed of

 

but then the areolas

that google tells me are larger than usual, as i suspected

an insecurity that has faded but still awakens now & then

 

two powerful, working hands

i owe so much to

for doing, feeling, creating, loving

 

then there’s a belly, a fupa, some rolls

changing size & shape daily

as i try to extinguish all the shame & hatred i once had for this beauty

 

a butt my mom tells me is identical to my dad’s

pushed in at the sides & not very ample

marked with a heart pierced by an arrow reading “ bad ” on the left cheek

 

my beautiful pussy that i refuse to shave

that my ex called “ a porn star vagina ”, though i still don’t know why

i do know i love this cunt of mine

 

thick thighs thinned with age

but that still take me everywhere

dominate a dance floor

 

sexy calves i’ve spent time admiring

while pointing my toes

traipsing in heels

 

feet that take after my mom’s

a pinky toe hugging its neighbor

small & strong wide size seven’s

 

i want to apologize

for anything hateful

or negative

i’ve said about you

any part of you

to you

called you

or ever will

 

because you

my art creator

my love maker

my trip taker

my disco dancer

my feline cuddler

my meal preparer

my beach lounger

my path hiker

my outfit flaunter

my affection giver

my thrift shopper

my page turner

my late-night snacker

my poem writer

my shit talker

my risk taker

my laugh exuder

my home

my me

 

you are beautiful

& irresistible

& resilient

& flawless

& utterly magnificent

for all that you are

 

 

i love you