i cook elaborate meals for one

i sprawl across the entirety of my bed

i pet my purring feline nestled in the curve of my legs

i treat myself to solo trips to the movie theater, popcorn included

i scroll through my phone for too long, put it down, pick it up moments later

i miss love messages & pillow talk sweeter than syrup

i scribble pages of poetry in my journal

i wait on no one but myself

i set my own schedule & break it when i like

i binge any tv shows & films i choose

i blare a record or a playlist or one single song on repeat

i put the same movie on to fall asleep to for weeks straight

i create art, no one witnessing my mistakes

i take photos, mostly of myself

i worry about my grandma, my parents, money, so many people & things

i stare in the mirror, adoring everything i see

i wear only underwear

i make love to myself

i spend much too long perfecting the angle of each of my eyebrows

i cry violently & shamelessly

i cackle with laughter until my stomach hurts

i sort through piles of emotions, moods, thoughts in my mind

I yearn for a warm body beside me to hold

i wonder about my future

i try on outfits i may never wear again

i think about everything

i think about nothing

i feel lonesome

i enjoy my solitude

 

i am the most free